I was driving home from work last night and pondering what sort of shiny new hell we’ll face this week. Rather than focusing on the crumbling world of President Melon Head, John “kill all muslims” Bolton as National Security Advisor and a potential nuclear war with Russia, I thought “Bernie Sanders is the Nintendo Switch of Politicians.” And no, I wasn’t high…yet.
In lieu of the usual thoughts of what a nuclear mushroom cloud would look like from standstill traffic on the 110 freeway, I instead became excited to write about how the
president Senator from Vermont and the Heavyweight Handheld have in common.
They’re Outliers in a Two-Party System
Video games consoles are typically a two-party system. This cycle, it’s Microsoft versus Sony with Nintendo being the scrappy old game company with wacky ideas that the other two companies largely ignore. Only, the wacky ideas Nintendo put forth with the Switch turned out to be wildly popular with gamers.
American politics are also a two-party system. And much like The Switch, Bernie is the “weird and innovative” politician with “unpopular ideas” even though he’s the most popular senator in the United States and believes in “impossible things” like Universal Healthcare.
Bonus: At one time, Sony and Nintendo worked together to release the defunct Super Nintendo CD-ROM — Senator Sanders worked as a Democrat to
be cheated out of almost snag the presidential nomination. Like a Nintendo/Sony collab, a Sanders presidency won’t see the light of day (I don’t actually believe that, but pessimism is a necessity in today’s America).
They’re Popular with Young People
Nintendo systems have, since the 80’s, been the systems that appeal to young people. Bernie Sanders, since the 80’s has won universal support from people ages 18-24. You’ll often hear the Switch and Nintendo systems referred to as kiddie systems which only play kiddie games. But those kiddie games like Zelda and Mario go on to sell millions of copies and change the way companies develop games.
Bernie Sanders is, by far, the most favored politician amongst young people — Baby Boomers and Gen X-ers (i.e.: the shitstains who got us in literally every mess my generation will have to spend our lives attempting to clean up) dismiss Sanders as having pie-in-the-sky ideas — that is, until their golden boys and girls discover how popular his policies are and steal them for their own platforms.
Bonus: Nintendo also has strong support from older gamers who are tapped into the gaming pulse. Senator Sanders, likewise, has incredible support from people who remember how great unions are and how wealth equality wasn’t as disparate as it is now.
They’re Consistently on Message
For over 30 years, Nintendo has operated under the notion that games should be fun. This worked for Nintendo on the Switch, regardless of how many people rolled their eyes at the embarrassing announcement event. Even in an environment of multi-million-dollar budgeted games with cutting edge graphics, effects and online components, the Switch putters along with its inferior graphics and continues to outsell Xbox One and Playstation 4.
Bernie Sanders has been an advocate for universal healthcare since the 80’s. He worked with Hillary Clinton when Bill Clinton tasked her with figuring out healthcare in America. Sadly, that initiative was sabotaged before it got its spot in the limelight. Bernie Sanders has always stood up for communities of color and the poor. No matter how many politicians on both sides try and smear Sanders, he has remained true to his convictions for over 30 years.
Bonus: Bernie Woulda Won
They Have Super-Loyal Supporters
“Is it coming to the Switch?” is the new “Can it run Crysis?” when it comes to gaming. Every game announcement article or video will always have at least one comment about how great a Switch version would be. Nintendo already has a die-hard fan base baked into gamers, and that momentum is only growing with the Switch. There are gamers out there who only play on Nintendo systems, even when they’re not projected to win the console wars. Lucky for the Switch, it’s forecasted to outsell the Xbox One in its lifetime.
Much to the chagrin of many centrist democrats, a large subset of “millennial voters” opted to not vote for president during the 2016 election because they were indifferent to both candidates. These would be what the center, right and Russian bot accounts refer to as “Bernie Bros.” Which is a derogatory term for men and women who think Hillary Clinton sabotaged Bernie’s chances in the primary (because she fucking did) and who would rather carve their own eyes out than vote for President Water Brain. These are the leftists and die-hard Bernie supporters who don’t want corporate-funded politicians dictating the future of this country. Much like the Switch, Bernie Sanders supporters continue to grow even though they’re not projected to win.
Bonus: Did I mention Bernie Woulda Won?